I stood silently in the shower of Johnathon's family's lakeside cabin that we were supposed to be using for our honeymoon. Tilting my head back, I savored the steaming water pouring over my flesh, running down my blood stained dress, and seeping into my blood splattered white satin shoes. The running mascara irritated my eyelids with a burning sensation numbed by the pain deep within my soul. These precious seconds alone in the bathroom allowed me to thoroughly process everything that recently transpired.
I felt the coils of hair that held my bun loosen and give way to the pounding water. In that very moment I screamed with all might. I sobbed so hard underneath the shower so my tears wouldn't inflate my eyelids too much. I had an interview with the press in the morning to talk about my husband's near death experience and his genius mind lost to the world by an immeasurable coma. Not that I cared much for my image but my face would plastered everywhere on television, newspapers, and the internet. My wedding dress weighed down by hot water began to slide down my heaving bosom. I pushed it the bottom of the tub and slowly stepped out of it. I ripped out the stockings and garter belt to sooth my anguish. The shoes that would never be clean, I threw them out the bathroom window. I turned the water off and just sat in the wretched tub of ruined garments. I didn't move for a long time as I zoned out to yet another memory of Johnathon. I caressed my lips remembering his strong endearing kisses. I ran my fingers down my neck thinking of the marks he used to leave when we had to part for longer than thirty minutes. I remembered his tight hugs as I clutched my shoulders. I ran my hands across my thighs remembering the way they used to straddle his waist as I tickled him into submission before losing myself in his arms. I heaved more sobs and collapsed in the tub straightening my limbs fully while staring blankly at the wooden bathroom ceiling. I couldn't believe my reality. I didn't want to to believe. I don't know how or when but I slept that night in the tub. When I awoke, I could hear someone knocking on the locked door of my bathroom. "Sweetie, are you alright? It's Mom. Please answer me. Don't do anything stupid, alright? I'm here for you and I love you very much. Why is this door fucking locked?! There's no need for you to end up in the hospital too." yelled my mother through the wooden door. I tried to reply but my voice was too raspy for her to hear me. "What? Did you say something? Oh, god please be okay. I'm ramming this mother fucking door so stand back alright?!" yelled back my mother to my raspy sounds. TAP! THUNK! BOOM! CRASH! My mother kicked the door open with her heavy lead-like muscle bound right leg anchored by a steel-toe boot. My mother worked construction and often wore tom boy styles which complimented her physique. Heaving hard she bolstered to my side and sighed with relief to not see any bloody injuries on my cold naked body. "It's okay hun. We're going to get you warmed up and dressed. I made you a hot breakfast and then we'll head to station for your interview. Whatever you're not comfortable with you can just say 'No Comment' alright?" my mother replied encouragingly while hugging my limp form. The hot water helped me feel a little better. I lost myself in childhood memories as she combed through the knots in my hair.
I felt the coils of hair that held my bun loosen and give way to the pounding water. In that very moment I screamed with all might. I sobbed so hard underneath the shower so my tears wouldn't inflate my eyelids too much. I had an interview with the press in the morning to talk about my husband's near death experience and his genius mind lost to the world by an immeasurable coma. Not that I cared much for my image but my face would plastered everywhere on television, newspapers, and the internet. My wedding dress weighed down by hot water began to slide down my heaving bosom. I pushed it the bottom of the tub and slowly stepped out of it. I ripped out the stockings and garter belt to sooth my anguish. The shoes that would never be clean, I threw them out the bathroom window. I turned the water off and just sat in the wretched tub of ruined garments. I didn't move for a long time as I zoned out to yet another memory of Johnathon. I caressed my lips remembering his strong endearing kisses. I ran my fingers down my neck thinking of the marks he used to leave when we had to part for longer than thirty minutes. I remembered his tight hugs as I clutched my shoulders. I ran my hands across my thighs remembering the way they used to straddle his waist as I tickled him into submission before losing myself in his arms. I heaved more sobs and collapsed in the tub straightening my limbs fully while staring blankly at the wooden bathroom ceiling. I couldn't believe my reality. I didn't want to to believe. I don't know how or when but I slept that night in the tub. When I awoke, I could hear someone knocking on the locked door of my bathroom. "Sweetie, are you alright? It's Mom. Please answer me. Don't do anything stupid, alright? I'm here for you and I love you very much. Why is this door fucking locked?! There's no need for you to end up in the hospital too." yelled my mother through the wooden door. I tried to reply but my voice was too raspy for her to hear me. "What? Did you say something? Oh, god please be okay. I'm ramming this mother fucking door so stand back alright?!" yelled back my mother to my raspy sounds. TAP! THUNK! BOOM! CRASH! My mother kicked the door open with her heavy lead-like muscle bound right leg anchored by a steel-toe boot. My mother worked construction and often wore tom boy styles which complimented her physique. Heaving hard she bolstered to my side and sighed with relief to not see any bloody injuries on my cold naked body. "It's okay hun. We're going to get you warmed up and dressed. I made you a hot breakfast and then we'll head to station for your interview. Whatever you're not comfortable with you can just say 'No Comment' alright?" my mother replied encouragingly while hugging my limp form. The hot water helped me feel a little better. I lost myself in childhood memories as she combed through the knots in my hair.
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